Anxious or Depressed?

Jeffrey Dweck170 commentsUncategorized

Michelle Friedman, MD

COVID-19 and the Challenge of Spending Pesach Alone

The COVID-19 pandemic has upended many of our lives and required us to distance ourselves from family and friends. This comes right upon Pesach, a time when typically we gather with friends and family to celebrate freedom, eat, discuss and give thanks right in our own homes. Maybe you were planning to travel or to get together locally with folks dear to you. Almost all of these plans are cabashed this year. And for people who will be on their own, this is an especially daunting situation, as we are in a year when Pesach is a 3 day yom tov.

Please know that you are not alone experiencing significant stress, feeling waves of anxiety about the general uncertainty of this time and specifically the potential loneliness in the upcoming chag.

You may also feel other painful feelings, such as anger and frustration that you have been a good person and a good Jew and it is so unfair that you are alone and not in a serious relationship now when you really need a partner. You might feel so angry that you are thinking about chucking the whole holiday and binge watching TV or just staying in bed.

I’d like to make a few suggestions:

1. Most importantly, do not try to avoid or judge whatever you are feeling. The more we avoid anxiety, fear, shame or whatever the emotion, the scarier it becomes. The more we feel shame that we aren’t in a place we hope we would be at this point in life (with a committed life partner, with kids), the more we suffer.. This is the time when we need to take a PAUSE and reflect about what just happened that led to this anxious feeling.

2. Now that you’ve taken a pause, IDENTIFY what you are feeling. Ask yourself, “What makes me the most upset?” Be curious about what made you uncomfortable. Think of this wave of anxiety as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and whether there was another feeling behind that first feeling. I’ll use anxiety as an example. Some common emotions that can make us anxious are:

a. Disappointment. These last few weeks have been filled with many, many disappointments and loss. For example, you may automatically think, “Why is this happening to me?” Try not to personalize this loss as punishment for something you did wrong, but rather allow yourself to feel the sadness that comes with this loss. Reach out to a friend who will empathize and not judge your sadness. Talk about your plan for your Yom Tov.

b. Anticipation anxiety. Anticipation anxiety is the anxiety that we feel prior to whatever it is that we fear. You might be really anxious about what it will be like being with yourself for the seder. The more you plan for your seder – choosing a Hagadah that you like, making a simple meal, setting a nice table -the more in control you are likely to feel.  However small the routine, it is important. You are an adult who can pull this together.

3. CHECK your thinking. Ask yourself, “What am I worried will happen?” When we are stressed it’s sometimes hard to think clearly and our brains can jump to assumptions. Check to see if you are thinking in all-or-nothing terms such as “everyone,” “no one, “always,” “never.” Are you thinking of the extremes, like the worst case scenario? ( I will always be alone ,this is my fate, etc)  If so, see if you can find a more helpful and middle ground using facts that you know. Pay attention to “always” and “never” words and challenge them. Do you know the future? No! You only know what’s going on right now. Make an active choice to use words that are nuanced and allow for future opportunity. Words like “sometimes,” “possibly,” “some people” are usually more accurate at describing situations. Try and describe what you are feeling using these less extreme words.

4. LEARN from what you are feeling now and as you go through Yom Tov. Take note of who and/or what in your life you are worrying about. Often we worry about those who are important and meaningful to us. Notice that you have them in your life and how much you care about them. We also worry a lot about ourselves – we tend to ruminate and regret. Notice when you slip into regret and rumination and think of those states as a kind of bondage, a servitude to old habits of mind that you want to release yourself from. Think of where else you feel your freedom is limited – what does Yitziat Mitzrayim mean to you this year? Perhaps you might journal a bit before the holiday and then after. Keep a written journal as we approach the chag and hold on to your mental notes so you can jot them down Saturday night or Sunday.

5. Set up a schedule- assign yourself a “seder” for davening/meditation/ reading/Haggadah reading. Allow yourself to be creative, even playful. Plan to meet up with friends using social distance guidelines to discuss your seder experience.

6. CREATE a phrase or a mantra that you can repeat to yourself to provide comfort. This phrase should resonate with you and soothe you. Some phrases that others have used include, “I am not alone”, “This too shall pass”, “I have overcome worse” or “This will only make me stronger”. Phrases might resonate with the holiday “ this is my Yitziat Mitzrayim” or “this is the birth of a new freedom for me.” Some find it helpful to write the phrase on a piece of paper and to carry it with them.

7. REMIND yourself that emotions come and go. This wave of anxiety, disappointment, uncertainty of faith, anger or whatever else you are feeling is like a wave in the ocean- it may be stronger than others, but like every other wave, this feeling will pass. Finally, we respect that you know yourself best. We understand that some people have mental health conditions that make a solo 3 day yom tov  dangerous to their health. If this is you, please speak to your halachic advisor and to your psychiatrist/psychologist/therapist and get their advice in making decisions that keep you safe and well.

Wishing you a joyous Pesach!

Michelle Friedman MD

YCT Rabbinical School, Pastoral Counseling

P.S. You might find these videos helpful. I did these with kehillot in Montreal. I talk about keeping Pesach simple and about expressing gratitude to the heroes who keep the buses, pharmacies, food stores, garbage collection running, reaching out to people who are alone and will be alone on Pesach, etc.

Session for Parents:

A Special Session for Parents with Children at Home

A Special Session for Parents with Children at HomeWe Will Get Through This: Managing the Emotional and Psychological Impacts of the Current CrisisWith Dr. Michelle Friedman

Posted by Adam Scheier on Tuesday, March 24, 2020

General Session: 

Managing the Crisis with Dr. Michelle Friedman

Posted by Adam Scheier on Tuesday, March 24, 2020

← →

170 Replies to “Anxious or Depressed?”

  1. Your article gave me a lot of inspiration, I hope you can explain your point of view in more detail, because I have some doubts, thank you.

  4. I loved you better than you would ever be able to express here. The picture is beautiful, and your wording is elegant; nonetheless, you read it in a short amount of time. I believe that you ought to give it another shot in the near future. If you make sure that this trek is safe, I will most likely try to do that again and again.

  6. unseen 888สล็อต ทำความรู้จักกับโลกที่น่าตื่นเต้นของสล็อตผ่านบทความที่ครอบคลุมและน่าสนใจนี้ PG SLOT เรียนรู้เกี่ยวกับสมบัติที่ซ่อนอยู่และประสบการณ์ที่น่าตื่นเต้นที่รออยู่ที่เรามาทำความรู้

  11. My brother suggested I might like this website He was totally right This post actually made my day You cannt imagine just how much time I had spent for this information Thanks

  15. I thought you did a great job here. The language is excellent and the picture is tasteful, but you come across as nervous about what you might say next. If you preserve this walk, I have no doubt that I will return more often.

  36. Może to być denerwujące, gdy twoje relacje są zakłócone, a jej telefonu nie można śledzić. Teraz możesz łatwo wykonać tę czynność za pomocą aplikacji szpiegowskiej. Te aplikacje monitorujące są bardzo skuteczne i niezawodne i mogą określić, czy twoja żona cię oszukuje.

  74. Monitoruj telefon z dowolnego miejsca i zobacz, co dzieje się na telefonie docelowym. Będziesz mógł monitorować i przechowywać dzienniki połączeń, wiadomości, działania społecznościowe, obrazy, filmy, WhatsApp i więcej. Monitorowanie w czasie rzeczywistym telefonów, nie jest wymagana wiedza techniczna, nie jest wymagane rootowanie.

  91. I loved as much as youll receive carried out right here The sketch is attractive your authored material stylish nonetheless you command get bought an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following unwell unquestionably come more formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this hike

  93. Its like you read my mind You appear to know a lot about this like you wrote the book in it or something I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit but instead of that this is fantastic blog An excellent read I will certainly be back

  99. Hi Neat post Theres an issue together with your web site in internet explorer may test this IE still is the marketplace chief and a good component of people will pass over your fantastic writing due to this problem

  102. Maximize Water Efficiency with Bwer Pipes’ Irrigation Solutions: At Bwer Pipes, we understand the importance of water conservation in Iraqi agriculture. That’s why our irrigation systems minimize water wastage while delivering precise hydration to your crops. Experience the difference with Bwer Pipes. Visit Bwer Pipes

  103. Hi my loved one I wish to say that this post is amazing nice written and include approximately all vital infos Id like to peer more posts like this

  104. Wow wonderful blog layout How long have you been blogging for you make blogging look easy The overall look of your site is great as well as the content

  105. My brother suggested I might like this website He was totally right This post actually made my day You cannt imagine just how much time I had spent for this information Thanks

  106. Ive read several just right stuff here Certainly price bookmarking for revisiting I wonder how a lot effort you place to create this kind of great informative website

  107. My brother suggested I might like this blog He was totally right This post actually made my day You can not imagine simply how much time I had spent for this info Thanks

  109. I was recommended this website by my cousin I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble You are amazing Thanks

  110. The degree of which I admire your work is as significant as your own enthusiasm. Your visual presentation is refined, and the materials you’ve written are stylish. However, you seem to be worried about possibly delivering something that might be regarded to be questionable. I believe you’ll be able to deal with this issue swiftly.

  112. Thank you for your sharing. I am worried that I lack creative ideas. It is your article that makes me full of hope. Thank you. But, I have a question, can you help me?

  113. Attractive section of content I just stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your blog posts Anyway I will be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently fast

  114. Thanks I have just been looking for information about this subject for a long time and yours is the best Ive discovered till now However what in regards to the bottom line Are you certain in regards to the supply

  115. I have read some excellent stuff here Definitely value bookmarking for revisiting I wonder how much effort you put to make the sort of excellent informative website

  116. Nice blog here Also your site loads up fast What host are you using Can I get your affiliate link to your host I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  117. Ive read several just right stuff here Certainly price bookmarking for revisiting I wonder how a lot effort you place to create this kind of great informative website

  118. Hi my loved one I wish to say that this post is amazing nice written and include approximately all vital infos Id like to peer more posts like this

  119. Your blog is a beacon of light in the often murky waters of online content. Your thoughtful analysis and insightful commentary never fail to leave a lasting impression. Keep up the amazing work!

  120. helloI really like your writing so a lot share we keep up a correspondence extra approximately your post on AOL I need an expert in this house to unravel my problem May be that is you Taking a look ahead to see you

  121. Hi i think that i saw you visited my web site thus i came to Return the favore Im attempting to find things to enhance my siteI suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas

  125. fun88 เป็นเว็บไซต์อย่างเป็นทางการที่มีชื่อเสียงซึ่งอุทิศให้กับตลาดเวียดนามโดยเฉพาะ fun88 เปิดประตูสู่การแข่งขันการเดิมพันที่น่าตื่นเต้น เว็บไซต์ไม่เพียงแค่อัปเดตข้อมูลเกี่ยวกับกิจกรรม โปรโมชั่น และโอกาสในการเดิมพันใหม่ๆ อย่างต่อเนื่องเท่านั้น แต่ยังให้การฝากและถอนเงินที่ง่ายดาย พร้อมคำแนะนำทีละขั้นตอนสำหรับเงินทุนของคุณ fun88คืออะไร

  126. Fantastic site A lot of helpful info here Im sending it to some buddies ans additionally sharing in delicious And naturally thanks on your sweat

  127. Fantastic beat I would like to apprentice while you amend your web site how could i subscribe for a blog site The account helped me a acceptable deal I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered bright clear concept

  128. Ive read several just right stuff here Certainly price bookmarking for revisiting I wonder how a lot effort you place to create this kind of great informative website

  129. Its like you read my mind You appear to know so much about this like you wrote the book in it or something I think that you can do with a few pics to drive the message home a little bit but instead of that this is excellent blog A fantastic read Ill certainly be back

  130. أنابيب البولي إيثيلين البيضاء ذات الثلاث طبقات للمياه النظيفة (درجة غذائية) في العراق تقدم مصنع إيليت بايب في العراق أنابيب البولي إيثيلين البيضاء ذات الثلاث طبقات عالية الجودة، المصممة خصيصًا لتطبيقات المياه النظيفة والدرجة الغذائية. يتم تصنيع هذه الأنابيب باستخدام تقنيات متقدمة تضمن نقل المياه الصالحة للشرب بأمان، بما يتماشى مع المعايير الدولية الصارمة للصحة والنظافة. يتميز التصميم الفريد ذو الثلاث طبقات بتحسين المتانة والمرونة، مما يسمح للأنابيب بتحمل الضغوط الداخلية مع ضمان عمر أطول. بفضل السطح الداخلي الناعم الذي يمنع تراكم الشوائب، تعتبر الأنابيب الغذائية لمصنع إيليت بايب مثالية لمختلف الصناعات التي تولي الأولوية للسلامة والنظافة. اشتهر مصنع إيليت بايب بابتكاراته والتزامه بالجودة، مما جعله أحد أفضل وأوثق المصانع في العراق. سواء كانت لمشاريع بلدية أو بنى تحتية خاصة أو أنظمة مياه صناعية، توفر أنابيب البولي إيثيلين ذات الثلاث طبقات من إيليت بايب أداءً لا مثيل له وراحة بال. اكتشف المزيد عن منتجاتهم عبر elitepipeiraq.com.

  134. I do not even know how I ended up here but I thought this post was great I dont know who you are but definitely youre going to a famous blogger if you arent already Cheers

  135. Masalqseen I’m often to blogging and i really appreciate your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I’m going to bookmark your web site and maintain checking for brand spanking new information.

  137. I just could not depart your web site prior to suggesting that I really loved the usual info an individual supply in your visitors Is gonna be back regularly to check up on new posts

  139. I just could not depart your web site prior to suggesting that I really loved the usual info an individual supply in your visitors Is gonna be back regularly to check up on new posts

  144. Simply desire to say your article is as surprising The clearness in your post is simply excellent and i could assume you are an expert on this subject Fine with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post Thanks a million and please carry on the gratifying work

  145. Does your blog have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to send you an e-mail.
    I’ve got some ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing.

    Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it develop over time.

  146. Özel Klinik Aydın Ağız Ve Diş Sağlığı Polikliniği Özel Efeler diş polikliniği, Aydın bölgesindeki diş sağlığı ihtiyaçlarını karşılamak üzere tasarlanmış modern ve konforlu bir tesis içinde bulunmaktadır. Aydın Klinik, gülümsemelerinizi sağlıkla buluşturan öncü bir diş sağlığı merkezidir. Misyonumuz, hastalarımıza yüksek kalitede dental hizmetler sunarken Endodonti (Kanal Tedavisi) Cerrahi İşlemler. Estetik Uygulamalar Protez Uygulamalar Pedodonti (Çocuk Diş Hekimliği) Diğer Uygulamalar Özel Aydın Ağız ve Diş Sağlığı Polikliniği https://cngdental.com.tr/

  147. Ata Tohumculuk 25 Adet Tohum Badem Salatalık Köy Salatalığı Tohumu Yerli Tohum Bol Verimli. Kendi sebze ve meyvesini yetiştirmek isteyenler için kullanılan tohum son derece önemlidir. Tohum, koruyucu bir dış kaplama içine alınmış bir embriyonik bitkidir. Tohum oluşumu, açık tohumlular ve kapalı tohumlular bitkileri dahil olmak üzereTürkiye’ nin tercihi ödüllü marka Tohumevi. Sertifikalı, tohum, çiçek soğanı, fide, fidan ve saksılı çiçek çeşitlerinde online alışveriş https://cngdental.com.tr/

  148. Özel Klinik Aydın Ağız Ve Diş Sağlığı Polikliniği Özel Efeler diş polikliniği, Aydın bölgesindeki diş sağlığı ihtiyaçlarını karşılamak üzere tasarlanmış modern ve konforlu bir tesis içinde bulunmaktadır. Aydın Klinik, gülümsemelerinizi sağlıkla buluşturan öncü bir diş sağlığı merkezidir. Misyonumuz, hastalarımıza yüksek kalitede dental hizmetler sunarken Endodonti (Kanal Tedavisi) Cerrahi İşlemler. Estetik Uygulamalar Protez Uygulamalar Pedodonti (Çocuk Diş Hekimliği) Diğer Uygulamalar Özel Aydın Ağız ve Diş Sağlığı Polikliniği https://cngdental.com.tr/

  149. I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here The sketch is tasteful your authored subject matter stylish nonetheless you command get got an edginess over that you wish be delivering the following unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this hike

  152. Geciktirici Sprey Nedir? Kullanımı oldukça kolay olan geciktirici spreyler partnerlerin ilişki esnasında fiziksel açıdan doyuma ulaşmasını sağlar.En İyi Geciktirici Sprey · Black Berry Geciktirici Sprey 25 ml · BayCazip 2adet Geçiktiriçi Erkeklere Ozelstağ Sprey Resımdekının Aynısı Gelır STAG 9000 ERKEKLERE ÖZEL GELİŞTİRİLMİŞTİR. ERKEN BOŞALMA PROBLEMİ YAŞAYAN KİŞİLERDE uygulanması tavsye edilir. GÜÇLÜ FORMULÜ SAYESİNDE GECİKTİRİREK Geciktirici spreyler penisin uç kısmına gelecek şekilde sıkılır ve bölgeyi biraz uyuşturarak ereksiyonu uzatır.Geciktirici Sprey n11.com’da. Geciktirici Sprey modelleri, geciktirici sprey markaları, seçenekleri, özellikleri ve en uygun fiyatları Geciktirici Sprey – Sprey Boya ve Yapı Malzemeleri uygun fiyatlarla ilan ve alışverişte ilk adres https://libidoxa.com/libidoxa-premium-delay-geciktirici-sprey

  154. I simply could not go away your web site prior to suggesting that I really enjoyed the standard info a person supply on your guests Is going to be back incessantly to investigate crosscheck new posts

  156. Glue Dream strain naturally like your web site however you need to take a look at the spelling on several of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very bothersome to tell the truth on the other hand I will surely come again again.

  159. I do not even know how I ended up here but I thought this post was great I dont know who you are but definitely youre going to a famous blogger if you arent already Cheers

  160. Your blog is a treasure trove of valuable insights and thought-provoking commentary. Your dedication to your craft is evident in every word you write. Keep up the fantastic work!

  161. Its like you read my mind You appear to know a lot about this like you wrote the book in it or something I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit but instead of that this is fantastic blog An excellent read I will certainly be back

  166. Your blog is a true gem in the world of online content. I’m continually impressed by the depth of your research and the clarity of your writing. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.

  168. Your blog is a constant source of inspiration for me. Your passion for your subject matter is palpable, and it’s clear that you pour your heart and soul into every post. Keep up the incredible work!

  169. NY weekly This is really interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger. I’ve joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your magnificent post. Also, I’ve shared your site in my social networks!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *